My Confessions

My 10 year high school reunion is this weekend and I have a confession to make:

I ran, and was elected, as a student council representative so I could miss football practice once a week for an entire semester.

Every Wednesday, the “end of day” bell would ring and my teammates would hustle to the locker room to get ready for practice. While they did that, I was loliggagging through the hallways waiting for student council to start.

We met in the library for the meetings.

I never said shit. Like, all I did was sit there and smile like a goon. I did ZERO legislative work. I barely even voted. I just sat there.

I was a non-partisan observer whose vote, and voice, was a reprieve from the Wednesday grind of sweat and testosterone.

Sometimes, I would feel bad that the rest of my teammates were out in the heat roughing each other up for practice.

But mostly, I was just glad I wasn’t them.

At least for that day: Wednesday student council meeting day.

Sometimes the meetings would be cancelled.

I still went to the library and sat there.

I’d look at my watch and gauge the minutes to allow for a reasonable amount of “student council meeting time”.

Oh, I’ve been sitting here for an hour?

I think I should head to the Locker room…

Nah. Five more minutes, then I’ll go.

When I met with my head coach to tell him that I had been elected as a student body representative, he didn’t say anything. He just stared at me. He peered deep into my soul.

He knew that I was a bullshit artist.

The dude had a wicked stink eye and he could smell with it. Straight through the bullshit.

I played my best actor though.

I nodded my head low and summoned the spirit of regret. I looked at him with pleading eyes:

“I really didn’t think I would be elected, I just wanted to try, but now…”

My face twisted in frustration at the hand of fate I had been dealt.

“I have an obligation to our school and I won’t be able to make Wednesday practices until late.”

My eyes looked up in remorse, summoning a tear of regret.

My head coach’s lips parted, cracking a thin smile. His frustration had soothed away and he knew: I mean he absolutely knew:

I was a total goon bag jabroni.

“Just get to practice as quick as you can after these meetings”

“Yes sir, thank you sir”

I walked from his office, a ray of freedom unveiling itself in the form of a regular half practice on Wednesday’s.

So, I guess this is me saying:

Forgive me Coach Dirst. Wherever you are. I love you and I miss you.

Let me be clear: my name was on the ballot that was delivered to every homeroom in the high school. Hundreds of kids were encouraged to cast a vote for a student that would best represent them in governmental affairs.

Candidates were analyzed, mental “pro’s and cons” lists were had, and scantrons were bubbled in…

I just didn’t want to practice for a full practice on Wednesdays.

Kids were wearing shirts with my face on them.

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I just didn’t want to practice for a full practice on Wednesdays.

A gaggle of students approached me to tell me that they had voted for me, that they trusted me.

I just didn’t want to practice for a full practice on Wednesday’s.

I have no excuse, no reason that is worthy of forgiveness.

All I have is the truth, and, like Usher, these are my confessions.

Except not really like Usher cause I didn’t miss practice on Wednesdays to cheat on my girlfriend and have a baby by another woman…

I just manipulated the student body so I could sit in a library and not have to practice for a full practice on Wednesdays.

I don’t know what else to say.

Except…

I miss you Coach Dirst.

And I hope you still have the valentine I sent you on one of those chocolate hearts that the school would deliver for Valentine’s Day.

“You make me sweat”.

Even now, in my dreams. And I have to thank you for it.

This songs for you:

One thought on “My Confessions

  1. CALL ME ADAM!!! You are too honest..

    *David Abramowitz* *770-688-5847* http://www.linkedin.com/in/abramowitz1

    On Thu, Nov 3, 2016 at 12:20 PM, U.I. Minds Eye wrote:

    > Adam Abramowitz posted: ” My 10 year high school reunion is this weekend > and I have a confession to make: I ran, and was elected, as a student > council representative so I could miss football practice once a week for an > entire semester. — Every Wednesday, the “end of day” be” >

    Liked by 1 person

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