We’re moving towards resistance and inducing anxiety. Also! I wrote a thing about awareness and we read it on the air. Good luck and god speed!
“The Objects of Consciousness” transcript
The imagery and ideas that float through our minds throughout the day. The rabbit holes we fall into, projecting stuff into the future, or reminiscing on the past. When we experience a painful memory, or an uprising of anger towards a certain idea, person, or situation. It can get totally sticky up there in the mind. We can find ourselves playing with these objects.
It takes us out of the moment, out of experience. It’s daydreaming and fantasizing. It’s all the what ifs, or could haves…its attachment. Or, at least, it can become attachment…
See, the thing is, I’ll formulate an opinion, or a judgement, on the objects that appear in my consciousness. And when I do that, I am identifying with these things. I am acting as arbitor, judge, or overseer for what is right in the world. The “me” that i think i am is compartmentalizing all this stuff into a nice package that lets me feel as if i know what’s going on or what my place in all of it is. And generally, because I am the hero of my own story, I always come out on top. Or, i become victimized by the situations and circumstances. The projections. A narrative is formed that allows me to be the Hero, though no one knows it. Battered and beaten by the bullshit of whatever may arise in my own mind.
It gets even trickier when I choose to fight it. When I realize I am the victim and take action at proving myself. Proving the me i think i am. And, pain ensues…
Like a tug of war of epic proportions. The me i think i am attempting to prove itself amidst the total harmony of life. It creates chaos. And yet, chaos is part of the harmony. The yang to Reality’s yin. The tension i spoke about yesterday.
There’s no wrong way to do any of this stuff. There’s no answers. There is no insight or deeper understanding. There just is. And a lot of the work seems to arise individually. It’s not mine to communicate, or understand…its just mine to experience…and to let go.
The meditative state is a state of awareness. A state of observation. Of witnessing. It’s seeing what is occurring and not identifying with it. Attaching to it. It’s just watching as life unfolds within, and out, of being.
Super simple. Thats it. And that’s all we need to do. Or not do. I don’t know if it’s what you need to do. It’s what i need to do. Actually, I don’t think I need to do it. I need to live.
To express. To recognize the objects of consciousness for what they are…passing leaves.
See, if i’m always trying to get somewhere, i’m never here. And if i’m not here, I can’t see.
And there’s so much to see, so much to experience. The things we do, the people we’re with, the way we feel. The world and all of its expression. The movement and changing of the seasons. The rise and fall of the tide. The comings and goings of thoughts and feelings. It’s a great show. And there’s progression too. When I really hunker down with stuff like this, i start to notice change in the way i interact with life. A new attitude develops. I become present, attentive, and aware. I don’t take things personally. I learn to honor who I am and what I do. I find my voice, and my interests, and my curiosity.
If i can really hunker down, I become led. I stop running the show. I stop deciding that things should be different than they are. And, when I’m in that space, things show up in a much better way than I could imagine. Because I’m not in the role creation business anymore. Or the life creation. heck, I’m barely in life management. I eat taquitos and haven’t shopped for myself in years. I barely own a thing. Because everything is given…nothing needs to be gotten. In that sense, I can relax and lean back as life unfolds.
But, I do want to steer. I want to hit some rapids. I want to get better at this thing, whatever it is. Be more alive. Authentic. Engaged. Theres an ideal I’m aiming at. And its all well and good, as long as I don’t let it stay. As long as i don’t hold on to it. As long as i let it go the moment I realize its there
Life is suffering. Thats what they say. I suffer when what happens doesn’t align with my own ideas. Also when i get sick. Or i fall into depression. Those things suck. Suffering sucks. But it doesn’t have to…if I can see it for what it is
It’s the me i think i am dying off.
Atman. Source. God. Truth. Essential Self. Superconscious…the underlying energy of being. The thing that lets all the other things be things. The ocean we swim in, breathe in, and are moved by. The wind to the trees and the orbit of the stars. The collective consciousness. The great gig in the sky. The Tao. The Way. The Great Spirit.
Ideas. Thoughts. Consciousness. Arising from where? The void. Phenomenon. Emotional energy in motion.
I guess all i wanna do is clear the channel so I can be part of it. Rolling with it. Actively engaged with whatever creative force that allows us to exist. Wtf is an atmosphere and how the heck is it here. Also, why is it that there’s nothing true beyond the moment? It’s super weird. Everything’s a narrative or a story or an idea. And none of it is true because Truth is found right here, right now. The only place we’ll ever be.