Part of our work is to make our emotions work for us, not against us.

Self-awareness makes you feel much better. Why? Simply because you see something you did not see before. You see you were carrying an unnecessary burden called the “self”.

Your world changes because you change. You are your own world. You make your world whatever it is.

Many people don’t accept this because they think it is some strange or mystical truth to have no relationship with their daily headaches.

If they worked to see this, all headaches having a psychological cause would end.

Neil H. commented, “I have noticed how easily people feel offended- including myself! Please discuss this.”

Reply: “Feeling offended occurs when a fact threatens to destroy a flattering self-image. We wrongly fear we may lose part of ourselves if we were to lose this unconscious image, so feeling insulted becomes part of the defense.

Drop defenses, let fact destroy fiction, and see how soon the idea of being offended loses its meaning to you.”

—

In itself, there is never anything hurtful or incredible about getting rejected. It is hurtful only if we think people and events must conform to our wishes.

If we have concealed hopes and demands, we will have disappointments.

If we have no unconscious wishes, disappointment is impossible.

When someone rejects you or your offerings, you should shout for joy, for now you are free of him, and owe him nothing; you can be yourself, you can live your own life.

—

You have certain ideas about yourself which produce certain feelings. You may have the idea that you must appear successful and happy in the eyes of others. This idea must always cause striving and tension.

Now, if you completely dropped the false idea that you must appear successful- how would you then feel?

You would never again feel that life is a tense competition- for in reality it is not.

From Secrets for Higher Success by Vernon Howard