Today’s episode is about rewiring old habits, finishing what I start, and examining why discomfort is the way:

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Changing the Way My Brain Is Wired Hurts And I think this is the way.

I woke up early with a plan to get on WoW, grind some levels on my shaman Jeneiva, and move one step closer to Outland so I can close the book on my Let’s Play series and get on with my life.

Instead, I ended up sitting here talking to myself…or to you, I guess… about why I’m doing this in the first place.

Jeneiva is level 47, the XP is slow, and The Hinterlands are not exciting. And honestly? I don’t want to be here. I’ve got a notepad full of video ideas: Counter-Strike 2, Fallout New Vegas, WoW Midnight…and every single one of them sounds more interesting than what I’m currently doing.

So why am I still here?

Finishing what you start is its own kind of training.

I ended my last video at level 40 in Stranglethorn Vale with a promise: I’ll be back when we get to Outland. And that promise, as small and gaming-specific as it is, matters to me. Not because anyone’s holding me to it, but because the pattern of quitting when something stops being fun is exactly the wiring I’m trying to change.

It’s uncomfortable.

The YouTube channel, the podcast, the gaming, the early mornings before Eli wakes up… it’s all auxiliary. It’s feeding into something larger over a long period of time…and i don’t wanna bail when I lose interest and resistance shows up.

The dream that taught me OBS.

Here’s something strange I have to share. A few nights ago I had a dream, and in that dream I was inside OBS creating scene functions. Not watching someone explain it. Actually doing it. Pressing the buttons, configuring the layout, building out the exact multi-scene setup I showed at the beginning of this video.

I woke up, came downstairs, opened OBS, and just… did it. Exactly how the dream showed me. I had never watched a tutorial. I had never seen anyone do it. It just showed up in my sleep and I did it the next morning completely flawlessly.

I told Melissa. She was not impressed.

But I wonder what it means about where ideas and intuition come from, or how much of what we “figure out” is just awareness catching up to something that is already there. A “collective unconscious” if u will.

What comes after Outland.

Once I get Jeneiva to Outland, I’m making one more video and closing that series unless something completely unexpected happens. Then I want to do something I’ve never done on this channel: step outside my gaming comfort zone.

My comfort zone is classic MMORPGs. Always has been. But my first love was first-person shooters like Doom, Goldeneye, and Counter-Strike 1.6, but the last time I tried a shooter it stressed me out and I havent tried since.

I’m leaning toward CS2 and I have no idea what to expect. I’ve got a whole mythology in my head about what Counter-Strike is- who plays it, how serious it is, what it feels like- and I want to step into that and find out what’s real.

I also want to try Fallout New Vegas, Rust, maybe Slay the Spire, maybe Where Winds Meet. The idea isn’t to complete these games, but instead find something that surprises me, frustrates me, or moves me to share it with you.

Not “until I get bored.” More like: until I find something worth saying.

What do you think?

Should I go Counter-Strike 2 first? Or stick with MMOs or Fallout or another game? Suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

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