A Reflection on Collegiate, and Present, Consequence

I was up all night doing cocaine before a 5am conditioning session with the football team.

20 minutes into the exercise, I blacked out and woke up in the hospital.

The doctors had me stay overnight to be observed. My Mom flew halfway up the east coast to make sure I was alright. Continue reading A Reflection on Collegiate, and Present, Consequence

“A Glance Inside the Minds Eye” Part 3: A Step Into Spirituality

While on the birthright trip, I encountered a young man. Erick. He seemed different to me, he seemed at peace. He held himself with an air of serenity. Almost instantly, I noticed he was prominently placed anywhere we were. Prominently placed by his own vibe, his own energy. I could sense something that drew me to him. Something that caught my attention, despite the massive amount of frantic energy provided by a group of recovering alcoholics on vacation.

He didn’t speak much, he smiled occasionally. There was something about him and I couldn’t place it. I began to observe him… Continue reading “A Glance Inside the Minds Eye” Part 3: A Step Into Spirituality

“A Glance Inside the Minds Eye” Part 2: The Disintegration of a Dream

If I believe I can do something and I’m stoic about achieving; I can attain. Removing drugs and alcohol from my life was a goal only I could reach. Each day, I had to center my thoughts on the singular purpose of not using. I developed a mentality of honesty and realized that when I shared my desire to be sober around others, it gave my past experiences value. Expressing my transparent thoughts and emotions created a daily drive towards success.

I found the same mentality has applied to what I want out of life. There are times when I can doubt myself, times when I can think that what I want is not possible; unreachable. Times when I doubt the integrity of those around me. Nobody sees the future like I do. Nobody feels the intense craving of success quite like I do.

Outside of 12-Step meetings, I found a new purpose. A new reason to wake up every morning. An opportunity to create the music I would like to hear. The people who had manifested themselves around me locked in to my ambition and we found ourselves a taste of success… Continue reading “A Glance Inside the Minds Eye” Part 2: The Disintegration of a Dream