I couldn’t sleep. Every few minutes my eyes would look towards the phone to see if she saw the message I had sent. My mind ran circles around pain… Continue reading A Warm Bed in a Cold Room
“If you spend enough time in and around 12 step meetings, you’ll assume the narratives of other people.
You’ll regurgitate their beliefs, rather than your own.
We’ll say we never had a choice, and looking back, we’ll realize we really didn’t…” Continue reading We Have a Choice
If you’re wanting to hear a story about drug addiction, consequence, and the pursuit of artistry give this podcast a listen.
It’s weird as shit:
Continue reading Inside the Minds Eye w/ Hayes Johnson (Redux)
When heroin is removed, all that remains is the obsession.
When you don’t have it, you’re antsy and anxious and depressed. You can’t enjoy the weather, people, music, movies, or art.
The idea that people can be outside mowing the lawn, or talking on the phone, or smiling and laughing is unfathomable. Continue reading Rock Bottom
I was up all night doing cocaine before a 5am conditioning session with the football team.
20 minutes into the exercise, I blacked out and woke up in the hospital.
The doctors had me stay overnight to be observed. My Mom flew halfway up the east coast to make sure I was alright. Continue reading A Reflection on Collegiate, and Present, Consequence
I won’t be recording myself in 12-step meetings anymore.
Here’s the final episode of my two part podcast: Continue reading Powerlessness and Doing Scary Shit (#2)
I shared in an AA meeting. The topic for the group was Higher Power (“God”).
I put my iPhone down, pressed (record), and joined the discussion: Continue reading “God” is Irrelevant (AA Share #1)
If we are going to live solely just to survive, what is the value?
Adults will tell you that adulting sucks. They often will tell you how much they wish they were 22 again so they could skydive, but now they’re too old and have a bad back.
They will talk about their home life as if it’s a ball and chain… Continue reading Soul Food
My high school sweetheart died of a drug overdose.
I spoke to her 2 weeks before she OD’ed and told her that she needed to check into a detox.
She wouldn’t do it… Continue reading 11:11 Make a Wish
I decided that I hated everything about Alcoholics Anonymous about thirty seconds into the meeting. My ego did not like to admit to being vulnerable, even in a place where vulnerability is not only welcomed, but encouraged… Continue reading Anonymous Submission