I thought I was pushing through fear and pursuing my dreams, but I was really just chasing a feeling.

In this video, I talk about my experience playing football – the adrenaline, the intensity, the rush of being watched – and how, years later in sobriety, I realized I was trying to recreate the same high in different ways:

I share how my drive to face fear, perform, and “go after something” was deeply connected to identity, dopamine, and the need to feel alive. And how I discovered something unexpected:

Doing nothing changed everything.

It’s not about quitting ambition. It’s about seeing where motivation comes from and experiencing what happens when you stop chasing and allow life to unfold.

If you’ve ever:

• felt addicted to intensity
• replaced substances with achievement
• struggled with identity after sports or addiction
• felt uncomfortable slowing down or doing nothing

this conversation might resonate.

Thanks for listening/watching!

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